Thursday, August 04, 2005
Thoughts on Divorce
Before I start, I am not considering divorce. The topic has popped up with many different people this past week and I have been thinking about the topic.
Last weekend, one of Steve's very good friends confided in me the reason for her very recent divorce. Several months ago, she discovered that her husband had been seeing someone else on the side for about a month. They had been together for about 9 years, married the last 6. Unfortunately, these things happen at times, but she said something else that really caught my attention. She said she was raised to believe that there are only two reasons for divorce: 1. physical abuse & 2. adultery. Then, she said for the last few years she found herself depressed and wishing he would cheat on her so she could divorce him. -What a powerful statement.
I'll be the first to admit that I am definitely not anti-divorce. In fact, I believe divorce is a great option for anyone who is extremely unhappy about their marriage. This depression can be caused by the two reasons above or many other things. I figure that we only live for about 70 - 90 years, why should 30+ years be spent in extreme suffering? Marriage is a tough decision and should be taken very seriously, but life is about learning from mistakes and moving on.
I was raised to believe that marriage is sacred and divorce is bad. In fact, I remember my parents having a family discussion to let us know that they will NEVER get divorced (yeah right). To be honest, I was disappointed when they said that. That was the verbal message pounded into my head, but another one came through loud & clear. Almost my whole life I wished my parents would get divorced. Yes, kids know when things just aren't right. My mom has two siblings and my dad has four. Out of all of them, only my mom's brother is happily married. The others are either divorced or are great candidates for it. On top of that, I absolutely would not want the kind of marriage both sets of grandparents had. Lets just say that when you spend most of your marriage praying that your husband will die so you can get out of it, there is a HUGE problem. All this and I am supposed to believe that divorce is BAD?
I know that in the US, divorce has become very common. I don't think it should be done at the drop of a hat because you're "bored" or "fell out of love." All long term relationships involve work. If kids are involved, there is even more reason to work out your differences. However, if you are way beyond that, take the time to consider divorce, especially when the first two reasons apply. I know many people who are trying to overlook even those reasons. I write this because I don't want to feel sorry for another person who feels trapped in a living hell.
my name
Husband:
Steve
Baby: Lexi (born Jan 26th)
This blog is like a journal for me. It is also a way for my friends to keep tabs on me.
For people who don't know me, I come from a big family (3 brothers & 1 sister). We moved around a LOT, so I am not really from one particular place. I like to call Katy, Texas my home though.
Recent news, my Dad & Mother-in-Law were diagnosed with Terminal Cancer in April/May of 2005. My dad passed away 5-Dec-05 .
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