Monday, March 27, 2006
Two Months & Chatting Up a Storm
Yesterday, Lexi was officially 2 months old ...so, so sad. It is amazing how much she has changed. Everyday, she seems to get bigger and develop more skills. Her attention span and being able to stay content lasts longer, which is nice. She even babbles with me for about 10-20 minutes at a time. We have some of the most interesting conversations although I am sure neither of us knew exactly what the other one is saying. I guess she said her first real word yesterday. Of course, it was by accident though. We were sitting on the couch having one of our mother - daughter talks, when she clearly said, "meow." I was shocked. Maybe, you don't believe me, but Steve heard it too. We had a good laugh because she hasn't even seen a cat.
Today, Lexi had her 2 month doctor's appointment. She is now 12 lbs and 24.5 inches long. As all of you mothers know, she hated the end. She was starting to get hungry as we waited for the nurse to come back in, so I got her bottle ready. The nurse squeezed her little chubby thighs and jammed each needle in. I know that the pain is unavoidable, but the nurse seemed to jam all of them in harder than necessary. I think she hasn't given many shots. Poor little Lexi screamed as tears welled up and rolled down her sad face. Her little lip was trembling between each howl. I was able to slip the bottle in at the end and distract her slightly. She ended up crying herself to sleep. This evening she goes between whimpering and screaming until she falls asleep for a cat nap (meow). My sweet little baby is experiencing one of the harsh realities of life - sometimes good things hurt.
-BTW, Thanks Jenn & Emily for the great outfits!
Friday, March 24, 2006
Give Me a Break!
Today, I feel frustrated and angry at life. I remember the good old days when I could pack my Saturn and take off to a new place. I could sign up at a temp agency and make enough money to cover the bills. The dream of new beginnings and adventures kept me young and excited about the possibilities in life. I love being married and being a mom, but house payments and other bills make me feel trapped. I just want to start packing things and rent a U-haul, so I can start somewhere fresh. I don't think I was meant to completely settle down. I wasn't raise that way and the very thought of it makes me insane. So Yes, today I am totally insane, not to mention frustrated! Stop kicking me when I'm down.
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Goo All Over
My deadline is finally over, so I have room to breath. Actually, after working 6 hours on Sunday and 12 yesterday, I would just like to kick back a little and share experiences.
We all know that motherhood involves a lot of different types of goo that must be dealt with. There is the white spit-up goo that covers the shoulders and some times runs down the cleavage. There is also the yellow, green or pumpkin orange poo goo.
Friday night, Lexi decided to share lots of bodily functions with me. It started off when I was feeding her. There was an explosion. Orange goo came blasting out the back of her diaper. Fortunately, she was only wearing a onesie, but the back was soaked with goo. It even got on my pants. So, I scooped her up and headed for the bathroom. While I sat there trying to figure out how to get it off without smearing it all over in her hair, Steve came in. He wanted to cut it off, so we did. Then, I laid her face down across my knees to wipe off her back. Suddenly, I felt a warm trickle down my right leg and saw another explosion of spit-up on my left leg. Talk about dirty pants. Steve thought the whole thing was pretty gross, but I just laughed. It is all part of being a mom.
By the way, the fun didn't end there and I obviously didn't learn from that experience. The next day while we were visiting Steve's mom in the hospital, another stinky explosion got all over my jean skirt. Of course, I did not have a change of clothing for me. We were 2 hours away from home with a whole day of visiting ahead. I washed the spot with soap and water and got out the mess, but had to walk around with a huge wet spot for a while. Good thing we were in the city of senior citizens where things like that don't bother them and they are very distracted by babies anyway.
Hey - Should I be sharing these stories? Not that I am worried about grossing people out, you can simply not read it. The thing I have to consider is scaring my sister off so she decides to rethink this nanny thing. Ok, To Paige: I made this whole story up. To the rest of you: you know the truth.
Monday, March 20, 2006
I haven't posted lately because of work deadlines. It is hard enough just trying to juggle Lexi and the normal amount of work, so this extra stress is not fun. I managed to make it through 2 of them. This last one is on Wednesday and it is by far the worst. Unfortunately, my internet connection conked out Thursday. Yesterday, I managed to get it fixed with help from my provider, but the changes that were made messed up my ability to access the servers at work. That means I'll have to go in to the office today and tomorrow for longer than I would like to. I'm glad that I can work at home and continued to get paid, but I wish I could enjoy real maternity leave. It would be better for Steve & Lexi too. Oh well!
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Back to Bad
Even though I posted a smiling picture of Lexi, I have bad news. Steve's mom was admitted back into the hospital on Monday. She went to her doctor's appointment in a lot of pain. They discovered that she had lost another 8 lbs. Now, they have her all doped up. On top of that, the doc gave her the paper work to do a living will. This Saturday, we are going to PSL to start some of the dreaded talks. They need to figure out what is going to happen with the house, bills, health insurance, living will, hospice, etc. I'm sure I'll be part of the discussions, but more as a listening supportive member. This experience will definitely help me appreciate all that my dad's wife handled more.
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
I must take a moment to give a big THANKS to Shokufeh for suggesting Gripe Water. Thanks to this natural cure, our evening routine has become much more pleasant now that Lexi has stopped screaming bloody murder. It could also be called Collic Be Gone.
Along with that, Lexi is just much happier. Her big open mouthed smiles have melted the hearts of everyone lately. There is nothing better in this world than seeing the pure joy of a baby.
I have a great announcement... my sister, Paige, has decided that she will be our nanny until December/January. I have been so worried about finding a great day care for Lexi in August and this is just about the best news I have heard in a long time. We would much rather pay my sister than strangers. Plus, Lexi & Paige get to bond, which will be good for both of them.
Sunday, March 12, 2006
Visiting Family in PSL
Yesterday, we headed up to PSL to see Steve's mom and a bunch of relatives that were visiting. Great Great Aunt Angie and Great Aunt Carol were here from CA. Barbara (MIL's cousin) came over. Bob & Lil from VA were in town too. His mom is becoming quite popular, but unfortuntely for the wrong reasons.
It was nice to see everyone and Steve really liked showing off Lexi. We tried to take lots of pictures, but didn't end up with nearly enough. I was busy taking care of Lexi and Steve was doing things around the house and trying to help his mother. She has spent too many years cleaning, cooking, and taking care of things. She doesn't feel comfortable letting some of those things go. She can only last about 5 minutes before she gets dizzy and needs to rest again.
Overall, it was a great day. Lexi was extra pleasant and smiled like crazy at everyone. She stole a little bit of the attention away from her grandmother, but they didn't seem to mind sharing the stage.
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
MIL Not So Good
Steve's aunt called me a little while ago. She is in Florida visiting and taking care of her sister, Steve's mom. She planned to come to Miami tomorrow evening to see our house and Lexi, but Steve's mom isn't doing well. She was released from the hospital on Friday and had a horrible weekend. The pain kept increasing and by Monday they thought she would have to go back into the hospital. Her doctor was able to administer out patient remedies including an IV, drugs, & oxygen. Tuesday, she felt the best she has in months - great drugs. Unfortunately, that only lasted for the day. Last night was horrible again and she hasn't gotten any better today. The pain is so bad that she isn't eating or sleeping. We are definitely going to see her and all the relatives that are in town visiting her on Saturday. It is sad to say, but she seems to be going down hill rather quickly.
Steve started working last Wednesday. Actually, he is working back on a project that he had been on for a year and a half. Only now, he is working for the prime contractor rather than as a consultant. There are only 2 bad parts about this. One is that he doesn't have health insurance. It will cost about $400 a month to put him on mine & about $350 to go with COBRA. The other is that it is temporary because the project ends in 5 months. At least that gives us plenty of time to find something else. Now, we'll just keep our fingers crossed that he won't need insurance for a little while.
Monday, March 06, 2006
Yesterday, we took a little excursion to the famous South Beach. We only stayed a short while, but Lexi got to experience some fun in the sun (ok shade). She screamed most of the way there. Other than that, she enjoyed it.
Thursday, March 02, 2006
5 Week Dr. Appt
Lexi had another doctor appointment today. She now weighs 10 lbs 6 oz & is 23.5" tall. I told him all about her bad days. About once a week, she has a screaming day. She doesn't sleep much and she screams in pain. She wants to be help up against the chest and comforted all day long. Yesterday was one of those days. He thinks she probably has gas. I'm going to buy some baby gas medicine in hopes to avoid the next rough day. She also got her first shot - hepatitous. Like most babies, she is not a fan of shots. At first she was stunned and then she started balling. It wasn't so much of a painful cry, but a 'how could you let them do this to me?' cry. When she calmed down, she just stared into space with big tears in her eyes. As soon as we got into the car, she fell asleep. Hopefully, she forgets soon.
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
Positive Part of Life
When life gets difficult, it is important to focus on the good. So, I'm posting a photo.
Bad Kind of Stress
When 2005 ended, I was looking forward to the possibilities that 2006 might bring. Everything looked fairly bright and I believed that I would have the opportunity to completely enjoy motherhood. My time with Lexi has been very precious, but I want more. I don't like sharing her time with work. Trying to put in 40 hours is killing me, but we need the money. That issue has been bothering me, but I was dealing with it until something beyond insane pushed my stress level over the edge.
I can't really express what happened because it involves work. As many of you know, my husband and I have been working for the same company for about a year and a half. I have been working there for 4 years. Before I start, there are many things I like about the company. To get to the point, as of Friday, my husband no longer works there. There were some cultural differences and misunderstandings that lead to that point, but it came as a total shock to us. Management called me to let me know that this didn't affect their feelings about me or my employment.
Besides that issue, Steve and I are forced to make a crazy effort to job hunt. I want to believe it won't take long. The market is very hot here. In fact, he has been offered a lot of higher paying jobs in the past few months when he wasn't looking. He turned them down out of loyalty. Hopefully, those doors are still open because we really don't need this stress right now. For now, I am trying to convince myself that this will turn out to be a good thing.