Sunday, April 30, 2006
First Time Apart
Other than 10 minutes, when I ran to the drug store once, Lexi and I have been together since her birth. Actually, I guess since I got pregnant almost a year ago. I have never left her with Steve to go anywhere because Steve and I go everywhere together on the weekends. That sounds a little co-dependent, but it is more of a matter that we both like to go places so if one is going so does the other. Even a trip to the grocery store is more exciting than sitting around the house. When I go out without him, he is usually doing something like working on the house or sleeping in (I wake up earlier), so I take her with me. Basically, this has lead to a lot of mother daughter time, which is good and bad because I'll be returning to work in a few weeks. It is nice being together as much as possible, but we both need to get use to being apart.
We started with our first break from each other yesterday. I took her over to a friend's house. This friend is great with babies and kids, but has had major fertility problems for the last 10 years and hasn't been able to have one. She has been begging me to let her care for Lexi since I got pregnant. I figured yesterday was a good day because I had a few projects in the house I wanted to get done. I dropped Lexi off and dashed back to the house. I worked like a crazy woman on too much coffee (although I don't drink coffee). I just felt I had to maximize this time. Of course, I couldn't stop thinking about her or wanting to check on her. Two and a half hours later, I called and found out that she was doing well and my friend begged to keep her longer. I worked on a few more projects. After 5 hours, I couldn't take it anymore and went to get her. That seems like a long break for the first time even though she did well. One thing is clear; going back to work will be harder on me than it will be on her.
Friday, April 28, 2006
Self Taught Computer Nerd
Despite the fact that I have taken very few computer classes, I use a lot of different software programs. When someone does this, there are always features that they have no idea exist. Before I started working from home, I bought Adobe Creative Suites 2 software (through the company). It has the latest versions of Photoshop, Illustrator, Acrobat Professional, and other things you have probably never heard of. I also bought the training DVDs for all those programs through Lynda.com, which is VERY good by the way.
Now that my deadlines have calmed down, I started the training. I decided to start with Acrobat because I have always wanted to learn how to do the forms. I have to admit that I am completely astonished by the features that I never knew about. In fact, I can't stop telling people so I decided to share that with all of you. I would have to say that all these years I have only been using the most basic functions Acrobat. The first disk blew me away and it didn't even have the lesson on forms. The second disk had the forms and much more. I am totally hooked. I have come up with tons of ideas for work. I even worked 10 hours yesterday. Call me crazy!
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Three Months Old Today
Time really flies. Yesterday, I went into the office and, as usual, everyone was amazed by how big Lexi is getting. One person even commented that she is looking more like a little girl and less like a baby. Other than being bald, she was right. She is growing up too fast. In the last few weeks, I have noticed some wonderful changes and some I would rather have waited for.
Some of the great things include:
1. She likes to be held up-right so she can look around and interact.
2. She babbles almost non-stop. (I call her Georgette after her very talkative Grandpa George.)
3. She craves attention and smiles at everyone who gives it to her.
4. She loves playing with blankets and can keep herself entertained for a while.
5. She isn't very fussy anymore.
6. She sleeps through the night (YES!).
7. Most days she takes at least one good nap for an hour.
8. She is a lot more patient in the car seat.
9. She is generally a happier baby.
A few things I would like to see change:
1. She hates to be in the cradle position, which is very tough when it is time to feed her. This goes back to #1 on the things I like list.
2. Even though she likes others, she still prefers that I hold her. If she could extend this preference to include her dad equally, it would be nice. He is her second choice.
3. Every time I get the camera out, she stares at it & stops smiling. Smiles make pictures better.
4. Perhaps, more hair would be a bonus.
Basically, things are getting better and better. Even work has calmed down a notch. Thank GOODNESS! - knock on wood. I guess mostly I am thankful that I am not returning to work for a few more weeks unlike some companies & maternity leave. On the other hand, I didn't really get a break from work (or the paycheck). This calls for a math concept: a postive times a negative equals ??? (+*-=?) (anyone, anyone Bueller?) - I know you know, so I'll just say yep.
Sunday, April 23, 2006
I have always heard that 12 was the magic number when it comes to babies sleeping through the night (12 as in 12 lbs). At that weight, they shouldn't need constant nourishment. That is exactly what Lexi weighed at her 2 month doctor's appointment. However, the magic number did nothing for us. She continued to wake up every night around 2:30 to 3 am very hungry. Almost a month later, I began to wonder if she would ever stop crying for food at night. This weekend, I finally got to experience what it is like to have a baby sleep through the night. It didn't just happen once either. I have been spoiled for two nights in a row. Ok, so I am still waking up throughout the night to check on her. It is impossible for me to sleep through the little whining in her sleep moments, but I haven't had to feed her so I go right back to sleep. I think this is the best step in her development yet.
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Big Love Addiction
When it comes to television shows, I am pretty much a passive watcher. Even when I like a show, I rarely make a conscious effort to watch. I hardly ever like a program enough to remember when it is on. If I happen to catch it, that is great, but that is about as far as my devotion goes. It has been a while since something on tv has captured my interest, but I find myself addicted to the new series on HBO called Big Love. In fact, I have watched every episode.
I can't really say that I love watching Big Love more like I am trapped in its snare. Besides the fact that the characters are so intriguing and the concept is bizarre, I am sure that part of my addiction comes from my background. For different years of my life, I have lived in Utah. Plus, I was brought up in a very/ultra religious Mormon family. Now, I am what they consider "in-active" meaning that I was baptized into the church (age 8), but don't attend. This leads up to my fascination with the show.
Big Love explores the practice of polygamy in Utah. Mormons no longer practice polygamy and most that I know prefer to turn a blind eye to the fact that it was ever part of the religion (especially women). However, there are quite a few ex-Mormons in Utah that are polygamist. They are usually considered wacko and/or they have gone off the deep end. I have known a few that decided that was their future. To be honest, I have always found it weird yet interesting, because I just don't understand it.
The first time I watched Big Love, I wondered how Mormons would react. I figured most of them would be upset because of rumors they would hear about the show. For the most part, they would also refuse to watch just on principle. Therefore, they would be protesting something they had only heard about. I was right. It was about a week after the first episode when one of my Mormon family members sent me a mass e-mail asking me to write to HBO and ask them to take the program off the air. The e-mail claimed that the show confuses people about the Mormon Church. I laughed and ignored it. I have to admit that the rebel part of me likes watching the show just because of that. Otherwise, I am sure I'd treat it just like all the other shows I can't remember to watch.
Sunday, April 16, 2006
Many Moods of the Little Easter Bunny
It is a beautiful Easter Sunday here in Miami. The sun is shining and the temperature is 71 degrees, which means a nice day for Easter egg hunting. We took a few pictures of Miss Lexi dressed in her bunny robe as her mood deteriorated. We were finally ready to start our hunt for the Easter basket and she decided it was nap time. I guess she is just not ready for all this excitement. Ok, so maybe she knows there isn't much in her basket. All she is getting is a little pink bunny. I would probably rather nap too. She won't even get to eat a real Easter dinner with us. So - to the rest of us Happy Easter!
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Yesterday, something I have been dreading occurred. I laid Lexi down for tummy time and then turned to shoot out a quick e-mail for work. When I looked back at her, she had rolled over. This is a great advancement for her, but not for me. I'm not just saying that because I want to keep her little. This means I can no longer leave her on the bed or couch, while I run into the other room to grab something especially since the little wiggle worm tends to scoot around. I am happy to see her new developments and sad that life is going by so quickly while I tear my hair out over work deadlines.
Speaking of Lexi & work, I believe I am grooming her to be the best computer nerd ever. She sits or lies on my lap for most of the day long while I work. She'll probably be able to type before she can walk. I try to keep her stimulated with music and talking, but I'm sure her life would be much more interesting if I wasn't working. Come to think of it, so would mine - day dream moment.
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
That's All We Need
One of my friends just sent me an e-mail with the photo above. The idea makes me laugh as long as it isn't my kid. My mom & dad band us from drinking anything with caffeine in it when we were young. I'm pretty sure I was over the age of 12 before I did. My brother has the same rule for his 4 little ones. It just seems to make family life easier, but I doubt I'll have so many kids to make it necessary.
There are so many crazy things happening around me. I have one friend who is debating whether or not to get divorced. I get a daily update on her decision, which keeps changing. In this case, I can see reasons for both arguments, but in the end I think it comes down to the fact that she loves him. He hasn't done anything particularly wrong, but sometimes women just want more. I think the secret to happiness just might be the ability to be content with what you have. Unfortunately, that is something most women will never achieve. If it is not one thing, it is another. I have a long list of things I believe will make my life better. Somewhere at the top of the list is a perfect body (high expectations).
I'm also swamped with deadlines at work. I am really looking forward to my sister coming to help even though it means my return to the office and I'll miss Lexi. Trying to juggle all that is going on by myself just isn't working. I feel like nothing is being taken care of like I want it to be.
To top off the week, our taxes are not done. We went to a place to take care of them in February, but they were obviously incompetent. Right away, I realized I'd be better off with my regular old Turbo Tax. I came up with an excuse and we darted out of there. Since then, nothing has been done. I made an appointment today with a lady a friend recommended. I can't wait to cross one more thing off the To Do List.
Ok, so lately my life is a bunch of random thoughts just like this entry.
Friday, April 07, 2006
Spring Cleaning of 2006
I would rather be writing about Spring Break, but this year spring is mainly about cleaning. We moved into our house the end of April last year. While it is a charming house with a great layout, I'll just say it wasn't the cleanest place ever. I am pretty sure that they didn't even paint it since they moved in, which was 1998. The walls were covered with black streaks. The entire place needed a lot of cleaning. In fact, I spent over 8 hours bleaching and scrubbing each bathroom. They had remodeled the kitchen only a year before selling it, so I was able to get that looking pretty good without an insane effort. The bad thing is that I never got around to the floors. The grout, which was supposed to be a light gray color, is BLACK in most of the house. Now, I am finally working on this monumental task. I have been spending an hour every evening on my hands and knees with bleach and a brush. Although it isn't pleasant, I began to wonder why I didn't start this before. Then, I remembered that it was just about 6 weeks from when we moved in to when I found out that I was pregnant. Some pregnant women really get into scrubbing, but I spent the whole pregnancy just hating our floors. The time has come to change that.
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
Conversations that Stick
I don't know if anyone else is like this, but throughout my life I have had various conversations with people that have stuck with me. Something they have said will pop back into my head at various times. I can goes years without thinking about it and suddenly a trigger will remind me of the conversation.
For the last few days, a conversation with my ex-sister-in-law has been on my mind. I should start by giving you a little background for the conversation. My youngest brother got married in August of 2004 and was divorced by January of 2005. Not only is that a very short marriage, but you know it was an awful experience given that they were apart for about half of that time. They rushed into it and married for all the wrong reasons. He was in the military and knew that he had a good chance of being shipped to Iraq. He wanted someone missing him like crazy in the US. She had just finished a master's degree and turned 30. These things made her feel like an old maid. Basically, it was a case of two completely different people wanting the same thing no matter how much they shouldn't. Unfortunately, even though it was a horrible situation, she did not want to get divorced and simply would not believe that she could have made that bad of a decision. They were both just obviously WRONG for each other. He recognized that problem much earlier than her and she couldn't accept it, which lead her to contact all of his family members including me.
During our conversation, I listened and openly answered all of her questions. I even offered information. She told me some of her observations about my brother. At one point, she said that she was completely frustrated with the fact that he truly believes that she makes everything in his life horrible and that once they are divorced everything will be absolutely wonderful. That has stuck with me and the reason why is that it is so true of all of my family members. When something is really bothering us it tends to taint every aspect of our lives. We immediately come up with a flight plan (you know that fight vs flight thing - we go for flight). On top of that, we truly believe that utopia is in the next location or situation. Some people are extremely afraid of change, but we thrive on it. Lately, I have been trying to figure out the negative aspects of strongly believing that utopia can come with change. So far, I have a few vague ideas that don't really seem worth it. I guess for now, I'll continue coming up with grand schemes that I completely believe in for my next utopian idea. My friends will continue to say - "what in the world is she up to now?" Am I messed up or what? At least I found a husband that likes to get excited about things, especially things that I make myself totally believe in.
Monday, April 03, 2006
Face To Face
This weekend was all about spring cleaning, except for a little trip to South Beach. Saturday, I organized my office and scrubbed the cabinets in the kitchen. Sunday, I decided to tackle my closets (2). I separated all my clothes into three categories. The first pile was to go back into the closet for me to keep. The second pile was clothes for my little sister. The third pile was garbage. I can't believe it, but I had 3 large garbage bags full of clothes for my sister and 2 to trash. I still have a full wardrobe left over for me. This was a clear sign that I need to pay more attention to how much I have and what I need before I go shopping, especially black pants. Good thing, I am into bargain hunting, but I should definitely cut back. I also realized that I want to hurry and lose the last 12 lbs of baby fat so that I can fit into them. Realistically, another 5 - 10 pounds would put me where I would like to be, but I prefer to start with the 12. Since today is Monday, I am officially starting Operation Baby Fat Reduction. If I declare it on the internet, I am hoping that it magically keeps me motivated & pounds just disappear.
Saturday, April 01, 2006
Making It Through
This week hasn't been a very good for Lexi or me. She has been utlra cranky from her shots and barely eating. I have been stressed out about work. Those things don't mix. Our salvation has been the swing. She suddenly started liking it. I don't like for her to be in it for too long, but a nice little nap while I am working away provides me with some sanity. I miss last week when she was so happy and content. She is starting to return to normal, which means I can stop pulling my hair out over one thing.
On a lighter note, Steve got a great job offer with amazing benefits and a LOT more money (not enough for me to be a SAHM though). In addition to that, he has 2 more interviews next week that appear to be even better.