Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Dear Artemis-Gaia Blog:
The time has come when I must bid you farewell. Just so you know - It's not you; it's me. You have been ever so faithful in holding up your end of the bargain. You have always been there for me. I have to let you know that I have found another that seems to suit me better. Please don't be jealous. My new blog is:
Do you understand the connection? I realize that this is my 270th post and we have had a good run, but it is time for me to move on. I will still check in on you from time to time. I hope we can remain friends, but it is goodbye for now.
P.S. No more posts on this blog after today.
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Yummy Yummy for Her Tummy
For the past 2 weeks, Lexi has been staring at us eating and begging for real food. It was obvious that she was ready for the next step. So, she had her first meal tonight and she loved every bite of it. Even though she was trying to lick the food rather than eat it, she continually begged for more. Rice cereal was a hit.
Monday, May 29, 2006
Saturday Fun with the Clan
On Saturday, we headed up to Port St. Lucie (PSL) to see Steve's parents and visiting relatives. Lexi got to meet her Great Aunt Snookie & Great Granny Lou. They are so fun to listen to. Snookie is just as entertaining as Steve's dad. Actually, I think they feed off each other. Lexi just adores her Granddad, so you can imagine the joy she got from both of them. Snookie tried to teach her to blow and vibrate her lips, but Lexi just laughed and laughed whenever she showed her. Later in the day, they had Lexi lay on a blanket. They were trying to see her roll over and even made bets. Of course, Lexi was very content just laying there soaking up all the attention.
It is becoming apparent during our visits that Steve's parents are excited to see how much Lexi has grown and changed. On the flip side, we see how much his mother has deteriorated. She is skinnier than ever and sleeping more often. She speaks and walks slower each time. The pain is also bothering her a lot more. During this trip, she even had a vomiting episode. It is difficult to watch. Actually, Paige had flashbacks of our dad.
Friday, May 26, 2006
4 Month Doctor Appointment
Lexi had her 4 month old doctor appointment yesterday. I brought her & Paige to the office, so that we could go in the afternoon from there. It was nice to have Lexi near, but Paige had a hard time keeping her happy. Plus, I think Paige was a bit bored.
As for the appointment, Lexi is now 14 lbs 8 oz & 25.5" long. I believe that is exactly the same size that her cousin Camille was at her 4 month old check up. So far, Lexi has been much better with these shots than the last ones. This nurse didn't jab her as hard. She screamed of course, but only for a short while. In fact, she had stopped before we left the doctor's office. She even managed a few smiles. It looks like we will not have a week of extreme crabbiness. Thank goodness. Now, I am really looking forward to the three day weekend and relatives.
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Lexi seems to be getting use to the work situation. I went home for lunch today & she had just fallen asleep. I held her for a minute & then put her in her crib. I finally got back to the office within the allotted lunch break. Now, Paige is probably getting bored, especially since she doesn't have a car. Her day consists of several walks with Lexi in the front pack, playing on the internet, watching television and dvds, and of course playing with Lexi. Come to think of it, I wish I had a job like that.
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Traumatic Hissy Fits
I came home yesterday to a frazzled sister. She told me that little Lexi had slept most of the day, but that was only because she had screamed herself to sleep. My sister, Paige, was concerned that Lexi didn't like her. Right then, I knew that both of them had a rough day. I explained to my sister that Lexi was just going through a transition and would hopefully adjust soon. Now, I feel really bad that she is scheduled to get her shots this week. She will probably be getting use to it right as that trauma makes everything worse. So, I will continue to feel sad and sorry for Lexi & Paige.
Monday, May 22, 2006
Back at Work
As you all probably know (from my many sobbing complaints previously posted), it is back to work for me today. Besides missing Lexi horribly, I guess I am doing ok. She spit up on me right as I was about to leave this morning, which has to mean that she was making sure that I didn't miss out on everything. My sister told me that she slept most of the morning. Of course, I rushed home for lunch to see her. I got to spend a little time before rushing back. It warmed my heart to see that she was extremely excited to see me. My heart broke when she cried as I handed her back to my sister to leave. I ended up cuddling her for a few more minutes.
To be honest, there is a very small part of me that feels a little like things are returning to normal. Don't get me wrong, I would choose to be a SAHM any day of the week. What I am feeling is a weird realization that I am not pregnant anymore. It started with setting up my computer this morning. When I left in January, I unhooked my computer by myself. It was NOT easy with that big belly and my huge wood desk that is impossible to move. Climbing under my desk & on top of it trying to get all the cords situated reminded me of how much easier things are as a non-pregnant girl. (Ok, so I probably shouldn't have unhooked my computer in January, but I am a fiercely independent person.)
Basically today, I am feeling very sad when we are apart, excited for the moments I can see her, and strange about not being pregnant. You can be sure that I am looking forward to 5:30 pm, so I can rush home to be with her again. Hmm... maybe it is time to think about another maternity leave. Yeah right!
Saturday, May 20, 2006
Update on MIL
Sorry I haven't updated on my mother-in-law's health status. Steve has talked to her a few times this week, but she didn't offer the information. He decided that he might not want to hear it, so he avoided asking her until I nagged him enough yesterday. Let me start by saying that the doctor told her it is now time to contact hospice, which means they are basically done fighting the cancer. They are going to do some radiation on the tumor in her pelvis, which is 4 inches in diameter, just to make her more comfortable. Her life expectancy depends on many unknowns, but hospice isn't usually into the picture until the last 6 months.
I am posting a few pictures of us on mother's day. Steve's mom went out on the boat with all of us for about 15 - 20 minutes. It is important to build up some happy moments/memories.
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Yesterday, Steve and I celebrated our third anniversary. He made a reservation at the Melting Pot, which I noticed is starting to become a tradition for our anniversary. Three anniversaries all celebrated at the Melting Pot. It isn't a bad tradition since it is one of the most romantic restaurants around.
Unlike the other times, we only ordered the cheese fondue. We had planned on ordering dessert too, but were full. Plus, this was only my second time away from Lexi. I spent the whole time thinking about her. It is becoming more & more clear that going back to work next week & leaving her will be extremely hard on me.
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
My Dad's Birthday
Today is my dad's birthday. He is no longer with us, but since this is his first birthday after his death I decided we should celebrate. Plus, my sister is here and his death has affected her most. We aren't going to do anything extravagant, but he wasn't an extravagant person. I just bought a yogurt cake that we'll eat after dinner tonight. I guess it is a little birthday cake memorial service. It goes along with my belief in celebrating life rather than mourning for too long.
Sunday, May 14, 2006
Mother's Day Sadness
Although today was a pretty good day, it was definitely overshadowed by a deep sadness. We know that this is Steve's mother's last mother's day. With cancer all over her body and the extreme weight loss, it is only a matter of months (at best). She is moving very slowly, eating very little, and sleeping often. Even her attitude has changed. She has always been a little bit of a nag, but now she is very mellow. I would also say that there is an underlying deep depression. Then again, I am not sure how the brain tumors and medications are affecting her. Actually, tomorrow we find out the latest results of her last cat scan. We aren't looking for a miracle. We are just hoping they can find a way to make her more comfortable.
Mother's Day wasn't all that wonderful for me either. I am now a week away from returning to the office. I wish I was in denial, but the sadness is very real. I hate the thought of leaving my sweet baby even though I am happy that my sister will be taking care of her. The thought of leaving her at all brings tears to my eyes. I hope future Mother's Days are all about happy times and making great memories.
Friday, May 12, 2006
Lexi's First 5K
There are many firsts to document in the life of a baby. Yesterday, we had one that not many experience. Steve signed us up for the Corporate Run, which benefits the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. It is a 5k that approximately 20,000 people participate in every year. Besides the fact that Steve's company was involved, he has been more interested in cancer issues this last year. He wanted Lexi and me to walk with him. So...Lexi completed her first 5k and loved every minute of it. I knew she would like it because I take her on a lot of walks. Plus, her two favorite things are being outside and looking at people.
I carried her for the first mile. That gave her a chance to look around and interact with people. She rode in her stroller for the next 2 miles. She could still look around and even stare at her dad, who was pushing the stroller. She giggled and laughed the whole time. People kept commenting that she was probably the happiest person there. Steve told them we would all be happier if we were in a stroller like her. I carried her again for the last little stretch and across the finish line. We obviously weren't there to race. It took us a little over an hour to complete the course. Lexi started getting a little fussy a few minutes after we crossed the finish line and then passed out in my arms as we walked back to Steve's office. They had chips, water and beer for the employees. We chatted a little, drank some water, and headed out.
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
More Goofy Like Me
For a while, I have been thinking about changing my blog. As you may have read, the name Artemis-Gaia was about luck. Well, I got the 2 things that I was hoping for so... it no longer fits me. I have been trying to think of different names that might fit. Some ideas would only be temporary again. Finally, I was looking at a picture of myself today & it hit me. One thing I have always been is a Freckle Face Girl. Why not name my blog that? I am going to be keeping this site until I come up with a design for that one, which will be a while considering my schedule. My new site will be:
Sexy Siren- Yeah Right!
Growing up in a very religious Mormon household means having modesty pounded into your head. My bathing suits had to cover my midriff. "Mini"-skirts had to touch my knee. Tank tops were off limits. Of course, nothing could be tight, but I never had a problem with that. My dad hated every time I tried to get a tan in the privacy of our back yard on a Sunday afternoon. So, in addition to being a fairly self-conscious teenager, I had lots of rules to shape my ideas of what is acceptable. As an adult in South Florida, I can say that I haven't really worried about their rules. I dress for the weather and to flatter my pear-shaped body type.
However, I am pretty sure this adds to the reason that I am just not comfortable thinking that I am in any way sexy. In fact, the times I have put on sexy nighties I just laughed. My poor husband! I could never be a seductress. The idea is so goofy to me. I have noticed that having a baby has made me even worse. My body is far from tempting. In fact, I am reverting back to the rules my parents set. I don't wear bikinis because my belly feels flabby. I am even wearing capris rather than shorts because I have a small spider vein on my thigh. That is also the reason I packed up my shorter mini-skirts to give to my sister. I guess it is a good thing that I am not trying to dress too sexy with this body. Maybe I could thank my parents for that. Should I mention that I my shoulders are often exposed? Oh the horror! I have to be rebellious in some way, right?
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Wiggle Giggle Girl
From the time I first felt Lexi move when I was pregnant until now, she has been wiggling like crazy. In fact, she never stops moving. At night, she scooches around in her bed. Her head and feet end up all over the place. She is a true wild child, especially when I am holding her and people baby talk to her. She beams a huge smile while kicking her legs and flapping her arms. It is hilarious when she adds a giggle and flings her head back and forth. I can see the toddler stages ahead.
Monday, May 08, 2006
We went to Port St Lucie (PSL) on Saturday to see Steve's parents. As you can see, we had fun swimming in their pool. It was Lexi's first time. You see, when you live in Florida you become picky about the temperature of the water. Locals only go in when it is nice and warm.
We also had a bbq. Steve cooked chicken and I made a salad. It was nice to spend time in the city of slow motion, where not much is going on and neighbors always wave. Actually, I took Lexi on a walk and even the garbage man waved. Steve calls PSL the town for the newly wed and nearly dead. Looking around, I am pretty sure that makes up the entire population. It is a great place to visit and kick back, but eventually it would get dreadfully boring.
Saturday, May 06, 2006
Miami, Like No Place Else
It is no secret that there are a lot of things I don't like about Miami. Most of that probably has to do with the fact that I love moving around like I have done all my life. I have been here 7 years, which is an eternity for me. However, there are some things here that I love including:
1. The beach - hey it is always on the top 10 list on the Travel Channel for a reason
2. Driving on 395 to get to the beach being surrounded by crystal blue water and seeing all the cruise ships lined up
3. Moderate weather - even though I miss seasonal changes
4. Walking around Coconut Grove day or night
5. Driving on the last stretch of I-95 and seeing the high rises on one side and the extremely colorful buildings and houses on the other. That was a bit of a shock when I first moved here.
6. Walking by the roundabout and down Old Cutler Road in the Gables with all of the beautiful trees that create a tunnel
7. The Venetian Pool, where we got married
8. Lunch or brunch with friends on Miracle Mile
9. People watching on Ocean Drive - where else will you see a Orthodox Jewish family and half naked roller skating transvestite within a few feet of each other?
10. The mixing of many nationalities to the point where you don't feel like you are in the US anymore
I guess I liked Miami most when I lived on Edgewater Drive in Coral Gables near Coconut Grove much closer to all the things I love. Steve moved in with me there and we had lots of fun. My place was way too small though. The next 2 moves were to bigger places that just happened to be farther away. It doesn't take long to get to those places, but we don't seem to go anymore. Lately, I have been dreaming about selling our house and moving back there. Is that crazy? Sometimes crazy & fun is better than boring and unhappy. Even Steve is agreeing with my idea. Of course, this would mean he would be closer to work so his commute would be better.
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
I don't like to leave a sad post as the top one on the blog for very long, so I decided to add baby pictures.
MIL Going Down Hill
Steve's mom has been feeling very dizzy, so her doctor scheduled a cat scan. Since she was first diagnosed with terminal cancer a year ago, they predicted it would end up in her brain. Yesterday, we found out it has. She has 2 tumors there. Unfortunately, this diagnosis congers up images of my father at Thanksgiving. He became so old looking in the 6 months he had brain cancer. He was also horribly thin and unable to speak, hold his head up, or really be any glimmer of himself. I know Steve keeps picturing him in the hospital bed and worries about his mother's fate. She has scheduled a consultation to discuss her options. I am hoping it doesn't lead to meaningless surgeries like it did with my dad. Life in the hospital is not life, but the person going through it has to decide.
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
About 2 months ago, I saw a friend I hadn't seen in a while. I immediately noticed that she had lost weight (20 lbs). After telling her that I was jealous & hated her, I asked how she did it. She said that the only thing she did was start taking a new kind of happy pills (anti-depressants). So, let me get this straight....Take the pills feel happy & lose weight? Wow, sounds great! Ok, so you lose your sex drive, but just get some extra pills for your husband & he'll be happy too. Then, when you are thin, it will come back & you'll be looking fabulous. Sounds easy right? I laughed about it.
Then last month, I heard a joke on tv about the difference between 21 year olds & 35 year olds. I don't remember the whole funny set-up, but basically 21 year olds might be able to name one anti-depressant, but 35 year olds can name at least 5. That really got me thinking. Do most people start taking happy pills in their mid-thirties? Is there a norm that I am not aware of? Does that mean it wouldn't be so odd for me to take some of the same pills my friend is because I am not that far away from mid-thirties?
I don't have the answers to these questions, but I do know one thing...I hate going to the doctor for good reasons. It is all about avoidance for me. I know myself & I certainly will not make an appointment and go in just to see if I can get happy pills. What would I tell the doctor anyway? I've been quite stressed out lately, but not really depressed. Can I have the pills that my friend is taking? I want to be thin like her. It sounds too ridiculous for me to say. Oh well, for now I guess I just have to get motivated, but it is hard to juggle a baby & work...hmmm that makes me depressed. Hey, good reason.
Monday, May 01, 2006
Hurricane Season Prep
Starting about six weeks ago, I have noticed that the people of South Florida have been preparing for the next hurricane season. The funny thing is that most of them are preparing by finally fixing what the storms messed up last year. They are working on their roofs, fences, and landscaping. I can understand that roofs need to be fixed before the rainy season begins, but why suddenly are fences and landscaping so important? I'll tell you why because every other house is being put on the market. Ok, so it is more like 1 in 10. I don't see them selling like they did last year either. I guess everyone is preparing for the hurricanes this year by trying to escape. Maybe they know something we don't.