Thursday, June 30, 2005
Keeping a Secret
Yesterday, at the OB office the doctor & the medical assistant both asked at separate times if I have shared the news of my pregnancy with family and friends. I said yes to both of them. Both responded with, "You just couldn’t keep a secret." I blew the doctor off because I think he is nutty anyway. When the nurse asked me afterward, I decided to answer. Not to be rude, just to give her a different perspective. I told her that in April my husband's mom found out that she had terminal cancer. Then, in May, my father found out he had terminal cancer. I said that our families needed some good news. Her eyes welled up with tears & I know she understood.
When I discovered that I was pregnant, I seriously thought about waiting 3 months. Mostly because we had been trying for a while and I didn't even want to think about telling everyone then having to tell everyone that I had a miscarriage. With all of the stress in the family, I didn't want to add more. I would have talked to a few family members & friends for moral support, but mainly dealt with it on our own.
Fortunately, there was already a heartbeat in the first ultrasound (at five weeks), my hormone levels were also very good, and I wasn't spotting or showing any signs of trouble so I wasn't too worried about a miscarriage. When the doctor scheduled the second ultrasound right before Father's Day, Steve & I talked about it and felt it would be nice to share good news for the holiday.
Now, I am not trying to say that people should wait to share this kind of news or even that I will keep it quiet for long if I am lucky enough to get pregnant again, but I found their question interesting. They are both probably in their 60s and are use to the old way of doing things. I was taught that lesson in the 70s, when it was still very much the norm.
When I was 6 years old, my parents called a little family meeting. My mom told us that she was pregnant and she asked us not to tell anyone (mistake). I don't remember first hand, but apparently, I went off to play with the neighbors & announced the news to their parents. They called to congratulate my mom & she had to tell them that she had just found out and would like to keep it a secret for a few months. She learned not to tell a 6 year old a secret & I heard for many years that this kind of news was shared around the 3 month mark.
My mom has definitely changed her opinion about this, but I still have some of that ingrained in me. As an adult, I have realized that this is an old way of thinking and that I have a husband who enjoys spreading news as much as I did when I was 6. As for my nutty doctor...he told me that he stopped delivering babies because of insurance costs. I asked the girls in the office & found out about a great OB/GYN that is in her 30s. I have an appointment in 3 weeks.
my name
Husband:
Steve
Baby: Lexi (born Jan 26th)
This blog is like a journal for me. It is also a way for my friends to keep tabs on me.
For people who don't know me, I come from a big family (3 brothers & 1 sister). We moved around a LOT, so I am not really from one particular place. I like to call Katy, Texas my home though.
Recent news, my Dad & Mother-in-Law were diagnosed with Terminal Cancer in April/May of 2005. My dad passed away 5-Dec-05 .
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006