Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Heightened Emotions
Yesterday, I spoke to one of my brothers who is already in Houston. He told me that dad is quite a sad sight. He is skinnier than ever, basically a skeleton with no muscle tone or fat. He can't speak and can only nod when he has enough energy to. The worst part though is that he is on the verge of crying all the time, which so foreign to his usual self. I am sure that has to do with their arrival and maybe some frustration of not being able to communicate. Thoughts of seeing him like that bothered me last night, but I kept it together.
This morning was a different story though. I woke up at 5am with many of these images, thoughts about all the plans we have to figure out while we are there, and memories running through my head. I also thought about the things I am thankful for like Steve & Lexi. Suddenly, tears came pouring out. Realizing that I was crying for someone who was a master of hiding emotions was even stranger. He didn't teach me to be like this. For the moments I slip, I blame that on my mother. Not that it is a bad thing, but she is always connected to her emotions.
After half an hour of tears, Steve woke up and put his arms around me. A gentle kiss and the words "I love you" made me even happier to be with him. This trip is going to be rough and it is nice knowing he has my back.
my name
Husband:
Steve
Baby: Lexi (born Jan 26th)
This blog is like a journal for me. It is also a way for my friends to keep tabs on me.
For people who don't know me, I come from a big family (3 brothers & 1 sister). We moved around a LOT, so I am not really from one particular place. I like to call Katy, Texas my home though.
Recent news, my Dad & Mother-in-Law were diagnosed with Terminal Cancer in April/May of 2005. My dad passed away 5-Dec-05 .
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