Wednesday, February 22, 2006
For Better or Worse
Most trials in life are difficult to understand. People like to ask God why he would let something happen to them. Other than personal extreme physical pain, I don't do that. For the most part, I realize that these things can only be understood once the situation has passed. Sometimes, that takes years. Sometimes, your trials are meant to help others and may have no real significant purpose for yourself. Tonight, I believe that I am experiencing something that is purely for someone else's benefit.
It is no secret that my husband and I come from very different backgrounds. I was raised in a family that is as close to fanatically religious as possible without going off the deep end. On top of that, they are Mormons, so that is an added level of ideas and beliefs. I rarely delve into that part of myself, but it exists and I am aware of that.
On the other end of the spectrum, there is my husband's immediate family. I don't want to air their dirty laundry, but let's just say all of them have had to deal with substance abuse. My husband has come a LONG way in the past 8 years and a whole lot farther since we have been together. Still, our ideas of what is acceptable or normal are completely different.
For some bizarre reason, I believe that he is my Mr. Right. That helps me get through tough situations. To be honest, I am a person who naturally comes up with plans for life after divorce or death. When I was single, I was usually quick to breakup and move on. It is different with him, but I know I could go on and be fine. Now that I have a baby, there are times when his ideas of normal bother me so much that I think about protecting her from his influence. He is a very loving person and has many great qualities that every dad should have, but I wish he could be a better example.
Obviously, I am bothered by something and decided to vent online. That is not such a good idea, but I feel like doing it today. Yes, I still love him dearly just not so much this evening. Good thing he is still out of town.
my name
Husband:
Steve
Baby: Lexi (born Jan 26th)
This blog is like a journal for me. It is also a way for my friends to keep tabs on me.
For people who don't know me, I come from a big family (3 brothers & 1 sister). We moved around a LOT, so I am not really from one particular place. I like to call Katy, Texas my home though.
Recent news, my Dad & Mother-in-Law were diagnosed with Terminal Cancer in April/May of 2005. My dad passed away 5-Dec-05 .
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